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Let Them Have It

If you’re reading this, chances are pretty good you know me personally. So let me assure you that this blog post is not about you. In fact, that’s the whole point I want to make today: it’s not about you, or anyone else. It’s about how we can find peace and happiness by letting go of our need to be right, to prove ourselves to ANYone else, or to take credit for everything. I want to share with you a lesson that I still sometimes struggle with, but it's so powerful: stop caring about who’s right or wrong.

Last week, I had a few conversations that reminded me of how much energy and time we waste on trying to prove ourselves right, looking for other people's recognition, or to show others that they are wrong. For example:

Does it matter if they think they did it all on their own, when you know you helped them along the way? Why do you feel the need to take credit for their success, or to point out their mistakes? Let them have it! Enjoy it with them!

Why do you want to meet that old coach of yours again, just to see if they now understand how off track their advice and judgment of your work ethic was? Why do you care what they think of you, or if they admit that they were wrong? Let them have it! Move on!

If the friend you give advice to doesn’t seem to listen or even be interested, why do you take it personally? Your advice doesn’t always fall on deaf ears, but you don’t have the control over their actions. You don’t even need the control. Let them have it. They can do whatever they want, give them love and support!

The truth is, none of these things really matter. They are just distractions from what really matters. Your progress and your perspective are the only things that matter in this world. It’s your ego that tries to make something out of what doesn’t matter. It’s your ego that wants to be right, to be better, to be more. Don't turn comparison into envy.

Here are some tips that have help keep me in check:

  • Live with intention. Know what you want, and why you want it. Don’t let others dictate your goals, your values, or your actions. Be true to yourself, and follow your own path.

  • Give without expecting anything in return. The reason I help others, or share my advice, is not for the thank you, or for them agree with me. The reason I give is because it makes me happy, and I believe it makes the world a better place. Try to not keep score. Stop expect anything in return. Just give, and be grateful.

  • Appreciate what you have, and what others have. Don’t compare yourself to others, envy their success, or resent their flaws. Celebrate their achievements, and learn from their mistakes. My biggest challenge is remembering to appreciate myself, and all that I have accomplished, and what I have overcome

  • Be humble, and be open-minded. Stop assuming that you know everything, or that you are always right. I honestly like to assume I know nothing. I'm so willing to admit when I'm wrong, and love to learn from others. Don’t judge others, or yourself, too harshly. Be kind, and be respectful.

If you follow some or all of these tips, you will soon realize why I'm letting them have it. That's why none of it really matters. Who’s right or wrong, who’s more or less, who’s better or worse. These are all illusions, created by your ego, to keep you from being happy. If you let go of your ego, you will find peace, and you will find freedom.

That’s the secret to your playbook to freedom. It’s not about money, or fame, or power. It’s about happiness, and peace, and love. And it’s all for you, even if they all think it’s about them. Let them have it!


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