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Victor vs Victim mindset: From Defeat to Victory

"A victor's mentality becomes a victor's reality" - Joel Osteen


Pregame Prep (today's overview)

How do you live your life, are you a victor or a victim? We are constantly presented with the choice of living as a victor or a victim. You might believe you don't have a choice, but I would say that thought just goes to prove the point I'm making in today's playbook to freedom.

A victor chooses to take control of circumstances, sees challenges as opportunities, and pushes through adversity with determination and resilience. On the other hand, a victim allows themselves to be controlled by their circumstances, and sees challenges as insurmountable obstacles and gives up in the face of adversity. Let's get into the breakdown of building the mindset of a victor and getting rid of the victim mentality that sometimes we get tricked into believing.

Film Review (my experience)

I played football in high school: the championship playoff game of my senior year was the culmination of many years of hard work, pushing through injury, and years of dedication. We made it to the finals and were just one game away from bringing home the state title. But in the end, we lost the game. It was a devastating defeat for me, and it felt like all of the effort had been for nothing; like my heart was ripped out of my chest. I was looking and feeling like a victim (loser).

But reflecting back on that experience years later, I realize that it was that loss that actually defined my victor mindset going forward in life. I learned that the outcome of one game, or even one season, does not define who I am as a person (or even who I was as a player.) The experience taught me that true success is not measured by wins and losses, but by how I handle adversity and the lessons I learn from it.

The defeat that I faced that night actually helped me develop resilience, learn from perceived mistakes, and acted as a reminder I should not give up when things get tough. It sounds cliché but it's not the destination that matters, it's the journey and the hard work I put in to get there.

After that loss, I never played football again, I went on to pursue a career as an IT Manager at a large company. I was a leader in my organization I had to make hard decisions in a stressful environment. There is no doubt the lessons I learned playing football taught me so much about team work, dedication, repetition, adversity and winning. I'm still impacted from it today.  From work, to my personal relationships, having the mindset of a victor and avoiding the victim mentality helps me stay focused on my goals and to not give up when things get tough.


That loss in the championship game of my senior year was a turning point in my life. It taught me that true success is not measured by wins and losses, but by how I handle adversity and the lessons I take away after the emotions wear off. The loss of that game actually helped me to develop a victor mindset that has served me well in every aspect of my life, and has allowed me to live my dreams. I live a life of freedom, happiness, and fulfilment.


Offensive Game Plan (actions to obtain freedom)

Steps to help you 'play' like a victor:

Take responsibility: Acknowledge you are in charge of your decisions and responsible for your actions. Take control of your own life and accept you have the power to shape your own destiny.

Embrace change: Most of us are afraid of change, it's easy to get comfortable with our routines. Instead learn to embrace new opportunities because being adaptable and flexible allows us to grow.

Give yourself grace: A victor mindset requires self-compassion so be kind and understanding towards yourself. Rather than beating yourself up you should acknowledge your own mistakes and learn from them.

Be optimistic: This one has been tough for me at times, but having an optimistic outlook in life even in difficult situations is important. Seeing the potential for positive outcomes is critical because what you think becomes your reality. It sounds a bit out there perhaps, but this really is true. Your thoughts become your reality!

Believe in yourself: A victor mindset requires self-belief and confidence in your own abilities.

Defensive Game Plan (actions to defend your freedom)

Avoid blaming others or external factors: don't slip into the victim mentality. Accept that bad things and bad times are just part of life. Don't make a past mistake or problem into a life sentence or debilitating problem. It's fine to get upset, angry, sad… But move on and let it go. Learn from it, but don't place blame or guilt in the past.

Don't let a setback or a failure cause you to give up or start thinking less of yourself: Don't fall back into old patterns or ways of thinking when things don't go as you planned.

Audible (unplanned changes)

Don't let the victim feeling creep up on your when a challenges appears. When something doesn't go your way, if there is a roadblock don't accept defeat. Recognize when a plan or the solution you thought of is not working and make the necessary adjustments. The victim voice in your head will eventually get softer and softer as it fall behind in the "game".

Special Teams (tips and suggestions)

Surround yourself with people who support and encourage you. People who are not afraid to tell you when you are acting like a victim. Find people to help you when you need it: don't miss out on the valuable contributions that a special team of friends can provide.

Penalty Flag: (do not break these rules)

You will make mistakes, things will go wrong: take responsibility. Mistakes are a natural part of life. Take the necessary steps to correct it and move forward. Don't blame others or make excuses.

Post-Game Review (key takeaway)

The choice to be a victim or a victor is ultimately up to each individual. You have the power to be a victor, you can turn a loss into a victory. Approach challenges like you are the head coach of a successful NFL team. Take ownership of your life and your circumstances, be resilient, persistent, and proactive! Do not letting setbacks or difficulties hold you back. Victory is yours!

Hey Coach! (Connect with me)

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